Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Ready Set - Love Like Woe

Fairly important: the formatting on this post goes to hell in most feeds, and it will be best read at ericonthecharts.blogspot.com

Quote from the page where I pulled the artist photo:
"omg(: i LOVE THE READY SET thank GOD for JORDAN he is the love of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Ready Set
Love Like Woe
Kid Pop
#33 (HiMid)
Nov 18, 2010
JSYK
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Even though I've been doing these reviews, I'm still a pop music hermit. I grab the songs, I listen to them, and I review them, but aside from hearing these songs, I still don't know anything about the media hype that surrounds them. So tell me: is the world awash in “The Ready Set go” jokes? I can't be the first guy that thought of that, because after hearing about 45 seconds of “Love Like Woe,” I think The Ready Set can go get sodomized by an elk.

Like, OMFG, I am waaaaay 2 old 4 this song. From the twee little voice that is meant to charm an audience that isn't me, to the oh-so-popular autotune twitches to every note he hits, to the lyrics about the girl who's a “pretty little windstorm,” a “sunset,” a “shooting star,” this is little girl music that makes Third Eye Blind's “doot do-doot do”s sound like sophisticated, adult writing.

Okay, let's find the picture.

Yup, a boy that looks like a little girl. Well, that's not a surprise... non-threatening is necessary to appeal the the glitter and rainbow crowd. Let's make The Ready Set go play spin-the-bottle with a hand grenade.

Funny thing is that, since it wasn't an artist name, I was expecting a group of some kind... but I'm gullible like that. This is obviously a teen boy pop singer writing songs for middle school girls (I'm sure the seventh grade lousy with Ready Set fans). There's no hint of a band here-- the electric drums, synths, and piano are all programmed-- so if it's a “they” and not a “him,” I can't imagine more diversity than a singer and a producer.

I'm willing to bet the love was “like, woah” originally. The lyrics are dim and annoying, and there's not the slightest hint of woe. I'm not certain the singer is aware of “woe,” but his marketing department was probably keen on it. No woe here, he's more focused on “the timing and the moment all seem so right.” Really? All those things seem right, huh? That's just redundantly redundant, and it's about as eloquent as Scott Stapp. Would you like to take her higher, too?

I suppose the benefit of hearing this song will come to me when it's parodied on the next Weird Al record (it really sounds like something Al would have fun with), but until then, I can't wait to see The Ready Set go to a Nickelodeon music awards show where they get beaten to death by a golf club wielding Willow Smith.

Stay with the song, walk away, or run like hell:

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