Jessie J - Price Tag

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Jessie J produces the world's lamest Flaming Lips cover

Jessie J
Price Tag
Feel Good
#99 (Low)
Feb 24, 2011
Jessica Cornish
Lukasz Gottwald
Claude Kelly
Bobby Ray Simmons Jr
Dr. Luke

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It starts like an eye-roller, the kind of tepid radio pop designed for stuffy offices and commutes to grocery stores, but half way through the first verse, something stuck me and wouldn't let me go. As I started to sing along with “Her name is Yoshimi...” I realized that, hey-- this is actually a Flaming Lips song.

I've got a pretty good ear for that sort of thing, and “Price Tag” isn't just using the same chords as “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots,” but the same rhythm feel and beat, too. “Price Tag” even borrows the tape slow-down effect.

I never do this, but to prove a point, I've mashed up these two songs (mashed these two songs up?) here. Actually, calling it a mash-up is disrespectful to everyone who makes interesting music this way: I just played the two songs together, because Jessie J is borrowing tracks from 2002.

Well, sort of-- I'm not a huge Flaming Lips fan (Yoshimi is the only record I have of theirs), but they are awfully creative, sonically. Jessie J is not (or, her songwriters and producer aren't): I'm sure she's never heard the song she's ripping off; I'm sure the production team thought no one would notice. It's a borrowed track, but it's also as flat and lifeless as any radio fluff you'll find. It's a couple snatches of guitar put into a sampler and looped endlessly, a tepid sounding beat (yes, Jessie, the original version of the beat you're using is crunchier and actually has more stomp. You've been out-funked by The Flaming Lips), and Standard Pop Bass Sound #3.

And then there's the message: while I'm down with anti-consumerist themes, it's a little hard to stomach a pop star's declaration that “It's not all about the money” when her concert tickets sell for well over $100 (do the conversion from pounds to dollars if you want more context)... and that's middle-of-the-pack between general admission in front of the stage and nosebleed (cheap seats start at £49.50).  Jessie J's idea of not being money obsessed is deriding people who wear sunglasses and high heels in clubs. Wow. Preach it.

Why is everybody so obsessed
Money can't buy us happiness
Can we all slow down and enjoy right now
Guarantee we'll be feeling all right.

It's not about the money
We don't need your money
We just wanna make the world dance
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain't about the cha-ching cha-ching
Aint about the ba-bling ba-bling
Wanna make the world dance
Forget about the Price Tag

Ian McKaye and Ani DiFranco can sing about not obsessing over money (and their lyrics will invariably trump “It's not about the ba-bling, ba-bling”) because they're the musical equivalent of sustainable growers. If we want to keep the farming metaphor, Jessie J (a Universal product) is subsidized by the corn industry, selling high-fructose infused junk food that (lucky you!) has a coupon for more of the same on the wrapper.

I wouldn't even mind that so much if the song really was about what it pretended to be about... it has designs on an “All You Need Is Love” kind of sentiment, but ends up more like a sales pitch: sure, tickets to her show are expensive, but don't worry about the price tag, because once you're in the door it'll be worth it (with all the love and camaraderie and whatnot in the room).  What's a couple hundred bucks for a starlet who's first record has yet to be released? Don't worry about the price tag, give your money to the singer who sings about not needing your money.

Well, keep the price tag
and take the cash back
Just give me six strings
and a half stack.
And you can keep the cars
Leave me the garage
Yes all I need
are keys and guitars

The less said about a mainstream rapper telling us all he needs in life is a half stack and a guitar, the better. Has B.O.B. heard his own music? Has he heard this song? It's like listening to The Sneaker Pimps compare an uninspiring life to playing with a click track in a song that was obviously played to a click track. Some pop songs are effective, some are fun, some are entertaining, and some are genuinely good... very seldom do they sound like a guy making time with his Les Paul through a JCM.

Especially in such a lazy song... so, we'll loop the chorus and then have the singer just sort of "solo" over it (the vocal over the pre-recorded chorus is also noticeably auto-tuned) and just call it done.  Kay?  Cool.  We don't need to do any more work on this one. Remember, though we took the music from elsewhere (shhh... don't tell Wayne Coyne), produced the laziest sounding backing track possible, and made something indistinguishable from every other stamped-out pop product, it's totally not about the money. Pick up your paycheck at the front desk and we'll mail you royalty statements quarterly.

RUN!

Stay with the song, walk away, or run like hell: