Don't you dummies ever understand anything?
Music like this
makes me break out my Old Man Voice. “That stuff ain't a bit of
good. Don't you dummies ever understand anything?” I feel like the
outtakes on a DRI album.
Unlike the blast I
just leveled at Jessie J for laziness and hypocrisy, Fabolous is just
sort of bad. You know, in a general way. Maybe this song's going
for a retro-feel, but every piece of this song feels like it has
between 10 and 30 years of dust on it. Synth bass from the 80s,
break loop from the 90s... it doesn't really inspire any kind of
retro nostalgia in me (if that's even the point), it just sounds
tired.
Or, more
accurately, this song sounds like a C lister from years back-- this
song could have been a minor hit when I was a kid (when that crazy
rap music on the mTv was still kind of novel). I remember those
videos well-- the companies didn't know their new find was a bad
rapper, they just thought he had a look they could sell, and so this
goofily awful song is shoehorned into a video. This is the kind of
song that sounds like it was pulled out of a cut out bin. On a
cassingle.
Just watching
my cutiepie get beautified
Make me want better jewels, a newer ride
Louis Vuitton shoes, she got too much pride
Her feet are killing her, I call it shoe-icide
Make me want better jewels, a newer ride
Louis Vuitton shoes, she got too much pride
Her feet are killing her, I call it shoe-icide
I can handle
repetitive or uninteresting music if the vocal is awesome... but, as
you can guess by the spelling of his name, Fabolous is not a great
wordsmith. His flow is kind of sluggish and lags behind the beat (I
hate that) and he “sings” the chorus (there is a kind of melody
there) so painfully flat I can't believe he thought it was a good
idea. Then again, he just coined the term “shoe-icide,” so what
Fabolous considers a good idea will always be a mystery.
He might be a foot
fetishist, too, because his worship of the shoes as backed up by a
mention of “well trimmed toes,” which must mean the girl's
pedicure... otherwise... well... is amputation becoming fashionable?
Trimming a toe or two for sandal season?
Singing the chorus
is almost as annoying as the words in the chorus themselves. I know
colloquialism and slang are the norm in hiphop, but there is no way
to make the phrase “you be killin em” not sound moronic... and
saying it over and over (and over and over) just draws attention to
the fact that your average 8-year-old can communicate more
intelligently than this guy.
Stay with the song, walk away, or run like hell:
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